odd girl out book review

April 1st 2003 It was a little frustrating, because I just kept thinking, "What is the solution?" She is definitely more confident than I was at 14. Rachel researched this for 3 years, interviewing girls and women who had experiences with "alternative aggression" (her term for non-violent aggression that girls use). It's vicious and covert. It was a good mix of both. It uses lies, secrets, betrayals and a host of other two-faced tactics to destroy or damage the relationships and social standing of others in the group. Knowing I wasn't going in it alone kept me from making a decision that could have ruined my family. Teaching girls not to be aggressive, the author postulates (and I think she's right), backfires into girls putting their aggressions into all of this underhanded, backbiting meanness. my expectations weren't that high, so i walked away more impressed than i expected to be. Interesting is not the word. She is definitely more confident than I was at 14. --"The Washington Post" "Provocative . Laura is married and has four children, she gets diagnosed later in life (when her children are teenagers-ish). You know their actio. From early childhood, Laura James knew she was different, but it wasn't until her mid-forties that she found out why. I got quite a few kicks and spit at from girls as well. I can appreciate the idea of it, bullying between girls and alternative aggression is often overlooked. I have been conflicted with this book since I started reading it. In the end, though, it worked out. Complete your review. Reviewed in the United States on November 11, 2017. I really wanted to like this book. And moreover that we perpetuate antiquated notions of how girls should behave despite fighting on a daily basis for women's rights in the workplace. I'm not sure that the research model is sound. Books Advanced Search New Releases Best Sellers & More Children's Books Textbooks Textbook Rentals Best Books of the Month Odd Girl Out (Quadrail Book 3) and millions of other books … She thought that having this diagnosis would somehow make it possible to overcome the differences and challenges she'd always faced. We’d love your help. I hate the fact that the words are true, but they had to be written. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of, Published alone. What I walked away from this book realizing, is that it's OK for girls to get mad and confront someone, but we need to teach them how to handle this anger. She obviously spoke to a lot of professionals and interviewed psychologists in order to learn more. She did also include her own experiences in hindsight and also interviewed a few "older" girls (20s mainly) and their recollections of the experiences and how they still may or may not be affecting them. Especially how girls use each other and how they do not want to confront others. I wasn't one of the Popular kids, but I had good friends and I got to do cool things. Someone had to confront the abuse. . Instead, they work at appearing "nice" and "sweet" and express their aggression in subtler ways that float beneath the radar of those around them -- rumor-spreading, alliance-building, using body language to exclude others, etc. Laura James was diagnosed with autism in her 40s and felt relieved to learn that there was an explanation for her, well, being the way that she was. My funny, beautiful, smart, beguiling granddaughter lives on the Autism Spectrum, and while her parents have chosen to be very open with her about it, at only 8 years old she lacks the personal introspection and awareness to be able to fully articulate when her responses to the world are driven by her ASD challenges. Many books have moved me, provoked thoughts and feelings and provided comfort or unease. This book gives such a unique and revealing look in to the life of an adult diagnosed with autism. She sees they are fake already and does not want to be part of them. it explores the uniquely girl ways that girls are aggressive to one another, contrasting against previous research on aggression & bullying that has been male-dominated & male-focused. But reading this showed me again that the phrase, "If you've met one autistic person, then you've met one autistic person" is true: we may share some traits, but we are not all the same. Book Review: Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons (Revised Edition) The newly revised and updated edition of Odd Girl Out is a must have for every person who is parenting or educating a girl. Laura explores how and why female autism is so under-diagnosed and very different to that seen in men and boys and explores difficulties and benefits neurodiversity can bring. Thanks! this book was pretty awesome! In Rachel Simmons' book, Odd Girl Out, she describes some of the stories that she heard while going from school to school to talk about girls who were "bullied." As the father of a new baby girl, I thought it might me interesting to find out about female "alternative aggression". But there had always bee. She has worked as a journalist and I think that also shows in her writing: she rapidly gets across facts, but does not analyse anything in depth, in much the way a short article is written. My parents couldn't help me either. We don't see too many reports from the female side so this was a great read. I enjoyed being able to relate to a lot of the stories told about young girls in school, such as how girls can mask their cruelty under a "good girl" image and get away with ganging up on other girls without teachers or parents noticing. eBooks. Wikipedia's definition of relational aggression is a form of aggression where the group is used as a weapon to assault others and others. She is the mother of four adult children and lives with her husband their dogs and cat in North Norfolk. . I had mixed emotions about the novel "Odd Girl Out" written by Rachel Simmons. But reading this showed me again that the phrase, "If you've met one autistic person, then you've met one autistic person" is true: we may share some traits, but we are not all the same. Teachers couldn't or didn't help. The book reinforced to me why I chose to have more guy friends than girls in junior high and high school (and the book even mentions that the middle school years are the hardest and worst for the bullying, but I do think it starts even younger, as I've witnessed with my own daughters and from being at my kids' school). Laura James always felt that she was different, bit it wasn't until her mid forties that she finally got her diagnosis of Autistic Spectrum Disorder, (ASD). This is a book that all moms and daughters should read, because it puts into words the relational struggles that take place in a school and why girls are “mean.”, educators/parents of girls, observers of social dynamics, book clubs, In this book, Rachel Simmons argues that girls are socialized to be conflict-avoiders and have limited outlets for expressing their anger or aggression. When not frantically fighting deadlines, she can generally be found hiding under a duvet with a stack of good books and lots of chocolate. Anyone who has survived middle and high school years has had some direct experience with how girls negotiate relationship conflict. Laura is married and has four children, she gets diagnosed later in life (when her children are teenagers-ish). I was sent this book in exchange for an honest review. I picked up this book in attempt to help my daughter deal with the girl bullies in her class. It's called Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls. Laura James is a good writer, and her story is fascinating to read. Simmons offers advice throughout the book, giving girls both voice to their feelings and help for the future. There was a movie by this name. It’s like reading a book about or watching a show about a villain and learning her backstory. I finally learned to stand up for myself even if that meant a confrontation with a student, student's parent or teacher. One of my 10th grade students recommended it to me earlier in the school year saying "All teachers need to read this book!" Welcome back. I also liked the descriptive words the author used. Start by marking “Odd Girl Out: An Autistic Woman in a Neurotypical World” as Want to Read: Error rating book. The letters, essays, and poems in this book are culled from hundreds of submissions by girls across North America. Drawing on personal experience, research and conversations with experts, she learns how 'different' doesn't need to mean 'less' and how it's never too late for any of us to find our place in the world. It is an eye opener. It made me nod in agreement, it made me cry. Since her autism diagnosis she has campaigned for autism awareness and acceptance and written, “People with Asperger’s or autism expend a huge amount of mental energy each day coping with socializing, anxiety, change, sensory sensitivity, daily living skills and so on.”, “I am confused at the idea of dressing for someone else. This book was recommended to me by my supervisor at my field placement at the Shaker Heights schools. Write your review. It’s about the ways in which girls deal with anger and aggression, as opposed to the ways in which boys do. A successful journalist and mother to four children, she had spent her whole life feeling as if she were running a different operating system to those around her. it's all about the way that girls are socialized to be feminine & how that impacts their relationships with aggression & the causes of aggression (jealousy, competitiveness, etc). To be honest I was kind of shocked but the author is right about lots of things. The entire thing is impossibly melodramatic, including Simmons' account of her own "bullying"--one day, one girl told the other kids not to play with her. I am going to recommend this book, particularly to people with autistic children. Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read. This book was so hard to get through but extremely important to read. I of course didn't recognise the motherhood parts, I have no children and I have no intention of ever having any (though I do have animals). As anyone who has been anywhere near me recently is undoubtably sick of hearing, I just read this really great book. This was the first book I grabbed once my fall classes were over. Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls: Simmons, Rachel: Amazon.com.au: Books Definitely an interesting book. It was a good mix of both. I get being angry and being jealous, but I was “so taking away from the bullies makes you any better than they were?” when the bullied got their revenge. You know their actions were wrong, but you can’t help but feel sorry for them. I quite liked reading this book. . Girls form large cliques and will often choose one of their own to scapegoat for no apparent reason -- a little like "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson. I feel that everyone who is affected by autism, individuals themselves, parents and professionals, should all read this book. I haven't had to deal with this too much with my two girls but I do know that this book is right on. What a read. Everyday low … I got quite a few kicks and spit at from girls as well. This book was incredibly insightful and informative, an. For me it started in first grade and went up through my junior year in college. An important, touching and incredibly honest book with a wry sense of humour, which challenges the preconceived ideas people have about autistic life -- Rachael Lucas, author of Sealed With a Kiss and The State of Grace Laura James has dug deep into her 'differentness' and emerged with a book of breathtaking honesty, humour and insight. She sees they are fake already and does not want to be part of them. Interlaced with quite detailed research from leading authorities within the field of ASD and other authors' perspectives on life, you're lead by the hand through a familiar but equally mystifying landscape of emotions and experience. Interesting is not the word. I think this book tells the story of Laura James' experience of an autistic diagnosis but does not help you to understand other people on the spectrum. If ever there was a reason to be afraid of gossip! Crowds, uncomfortable clothing, sensory overload- even some colors- are all things she tries to avoid. ", After wondering all her life why she seemed different from other people, in her mid-forties Laura James was diagnosed with both Ehlers-Danlos and Asperger’s (and I suspect she may have synesthesia, too, although she doesn’t say so). many of the situations in this book I have also experienced. I also really appreciated that the book emphasises that autism is a difference, not a disability, and that while she faces challenges, she is capable of success. To see what your friends thought of this book. We’d love your help. (I don’t mean by standing up to the bullies.) I love the old-fashioned noir feel of the series. It draws from interviews with girls who were bullied by other girls and mixes the interviews with factual writing. I have a severely autistic sister myself, and this does help me to understand how she experiences life. She thought that having this diagnosis would somehow make it possible to overcome the differences and challenges she'd always faced, but that's not really how it worked out. Rather than just getting in an argument or a even a fight and getting it over with, girls spread rumors, exclude, keep secrets, use particular kinds of body language, "kill with kindness," etc. Female memoirs have become increasingly common in recent years but James engages with her subject with a great deal of intelligence and with a clear … It isn't popular to say this, but I had a relatively idyllic childhood. There is a lot of books about autism at the moment, either factual or with characters that are on the spectrum but this one really does stand out. If we all modeled good behavior regarding anger, imagine what a different world it would be for our daughters! Simmons traveled all over the country doing in-depth work with girls of different races and social classes and religions. As with many complex issues, there is a lot of work we need to do in society about ideas of fe. Over the course of a year, she learns all she can about these disorders, and things start making sense to her- and to her husband. at no point does the book devolve into making biological essentialist arguments about female brain chemistry or anything like that. I have been bullied my freshman year of college by my room mate. It lead to four sequels and possibly more if the author had continued publishing. Poised to reach a wider audience in paperback, includin. This book saved my life. I've just begun reading this book. Odd Girl Out is in parts memoir as she looks back on her life and re-examines how her long unnoticed autism has stalked her along the way, but the book is also an attempt to understand better what it means to be on the autistic spectrum. It’s not that she’s been a failure- she was highly successful, with four children and a career as a journalist. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of, Published Every mother with a pre-teen or teen girl needs to read this book. Today the dirty looks, taunting notes and social exclusion that plague girls' friendships have gained new momentum in cyberspace. Some of these girls were scarred for life by quiet abuses inflicted by their peers as early as elementary school and as late as college. As with many complex issues, there is a lot of work we need to do in society about ideas of femininity before this will get any better. Buy Odd Girl Out by Elizabeth Jane Howard from Waterstones today! It is also a champion of what is achievable and admirably unique about both being an Aspie and a female on the spectrum, but I think also explores what it is to be human,: imperfect, flawed, quirky, introvert, sensitive, perplexed, yet seeking to be accepted, lo. I recognised quite a few things (even if some might work a bit differently for me). at no point does the book devolve into making biological essentialist arguments about female brain chemistry or anything like that. Laura is an author and a journalist (and the owner of a communications agency). But found it quite long and challenging to read. Be the first to ask a question about Odd Girl Out. It makes little sense to me.”, Reading Women Challenge 2021 #9 Neurodivergent Author, NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity, Sally Thorne's Latest Rom-Com Leaves a Lasting Impression. With this book Rachel Simmons elevated the nation's consciousness and has shown millions of girls, parents, counselors, and teachers how to deal with this devastating problem. Wikipedia's definition of relational aggression is a form of aggression where the group is used as a weapon to assault others and others' relationships. it explores the uniquely girl ways that girls are aggressive to one another, contrasting against previous research on aggression & bullying that has been male-dominated & male-focused. And moreover that we perpetuate antiquated notions of how girls should behave despite fighting on a daily basis for women's rights in the workplace. I was a bit bothered that the author seemed to heavily favor all-girl private schools to visit with the girls she interviewed and would have liked more examples from mainstream public schools (even the public school situations brought up I couldn't totally relate to). I loved this book! We're pretty good at figuring it out most of the time, but we have all surely thought at one time or another, "What are you thinking? When Odd Girl Out was first published, it ignited a long-overdue conversation about the hidden culture of female bullying. Today the dirty looks, taunting notes, and social exclusion that plague girls’ friendships have gained new momentum in cyberspace. For some of my issues with the book, maybe a 4.5, but because I learned so much from this book and it has helped me even just in observing other girls with their moms or other girls' interactions with each other to see how valid and relevant a lot of what is presented in this book is still today (this book has been updated since the original version came out), so I went with the 5. There were so many fascinating facts and examples throughout that showed me a new perspective on the overall idea. As the father of a new baby girl, I thought it might me interesting to find out about female "alternative aggression". Though, I had a problem with two stories. We are currently reviewing your submission. by Bluebird. Michael Thompson, co-author of Raising Cain An American School Board Journal Notable Book in Education " Praise for ODD GIRL OUT "There has not been so much interest in young females since psychologist Mary Pipher chronicled anorexics and suicide victims in her 1994 bestseller, "Reviving Ophelia."" It makes sense that if you want to understand more about how autistics think and feel, you should read an account written by someone with autism. although I feel no better able to articulate a vocabulary for it now than when I started. Really interesting look at what it means to be on the spectrum and one woman's experience of it. It is a biographical account of life both pre and post diagnosis; a look at the poignant and often difficult life events and transitions . Odd Girl Out: Quadrail Book 3 by Timothy Zahn 366 pages Published by Open Road Media Sci-Fi & Fantasy; Reprint edition (July 28, 2015) ASIN B00Z8POPPS I picked this book up in the library earlier this year, read the first chapter, and realized that a lot of things were being discussed inste I think this is a particularly poignant account because we see the author gradually connect the dots and identify which of her strengths and struggles are a result of autism after she is diagnosed at age 45. This book was incredibly insightful and informative, an Odd Girl Out: An Autistic Woman in a Neurotypical World is a raw and startlingly honest account of what it is like to be on the autistic spectrum. my expectations weren't that high, so i walked away more impressed than i expected to be. James was diagnosed with autism in 2015, and this memoir chronicles the following year of her life. There are no discussion topics on this book yet. I grew up reading stories about (and trying very unsuccessfully to emulate) girls sent to live in attics by evil boarding school head mistresses, but who nonetheless made the very best of their circumstances and were steadfastly good and angelic--never bearing a grudge that they lived in a cold attic with rats as their only friends, wore rags, ate gruel, and performed hard labor. Although she knew she was different from other people (from an early age), she just trundled along and tried to deal with the things that made her life different and more difficult in many ways that neurotypical people. My dissimilarity to James is not the problem I have with this book though: it is simply not very well written. It is also a champion of what is achievable and admirably unique about both being an Aspie and a female on the spectrum, but I think also explores what it is to be human,: imperfect, flawed, quirky, introvert, sensitive, perplexed, yet seeking to be accepted, loved, despite the above. 5.0 out of 5 starsSuitable Sequel Reviewed in the United States on August 16, 2020 Zahn continues the story of the galaxy-wide undercover war against the Modrhi, who are trying to take over through mind control. An enlightening read. I of course didn't recognise the motherhood parts, I have no children and I have no intention of ever having any (though I do have animals). Despite the fact that this is what to normal people would be a minor incident and the fact that it happened in the third grade, this is something that apparently haunted Simmons for her entire life. The following is the most vivid. My other daughter probably dealt with this more but karate helped lift her self. I wasn't just getting kicked or hit by boys and the girl aggression from just girls. Finally the missing piece of puzzle was found when she was diagnosed with autism at the age of forty-five. It makes sense that if you want to understand more about how autistics think and feel, you should read an account written by someone with autism. Buy Odd Girl Out: An Autistic Woman in a Neurotypical World Main Market by James, Laura (ISBN: 9781509843824) from Amazon's Book Store. Verified Purchase. . Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. Odd Girl Out charts Laura’s life pre- & post-diagnosis: diary entries transport the reader through her early life and memories, intermingled with navigating her life as “newly” autistic accompanied by wise words from Steve Silberman, Sarah Wild (Head of Limpsfield Grange school for girls) and more. Her writing has appeared in many national and international newspapers and magazines. After the astonishing success of the best-selling Odd Girl Out, Rachel Simmons invited girls to describe their own experiences of being bullied or bullying other girls. The entire thing is impossibly melodramatic, including Simmons' account of her own "bullying"--one day, one girl told the other kids not to play with her. My one daughter does things to make herself different and is a protector of kids that are bullied. A bookshelf of books have been taunting me since August, but this is the one I had to read first. it explores the uniquely girl ways that girls are aggressive to one another, contrasting against previous research on aggression & bullying that has been male-dominated & male-focused. Rating: 4/5. Books Every Psychology and/or Counseling Doctoral Student Should Read, Women and Mental Illness (fiction and nonfiction), Lauren Hough on Leaving Cults, the Military, and Bad Jobs. see review Jul 14, 2019 dantheolumona | aviecayl uy rated it it was amazing "Odd Girl Out" by Morangg is a heartwarming read about a set of remarkable characters and some beautiful friendships built on kindness and love. Informative, eye-opening, powerful and so accepting. My tormentors weren't just girls but guys as well. An interesting first hand account of the autism spectrum written from the point of view of one living with the condition herself. this book was pretty awesome! “There is no gesture more devastating than the back turning away.”, “Girls may try to avoid being alone at all costs, including remaining in an abusive friendship.”. But hey -- it beats being (gasp!) Read it to compare how the writer has improved in later years. Of course, this security is an illusion because you may well be the next scapegoat. Dirty looks and taunting notes are just a few examples of girl bullying that girls and women have long suffered through silently and painfully. This does help me accept that she is fine not being in "the group". Rarely do we get the chance to learn about bullying or aggression in girls because it is more of a mental game compared to the more physical bullying amongst boys. It is a must read for any parent with daughters, teachers, or anyone who will be working with girls. I also didn't recognise the parts to do with EDS and POTS, as I don't have these diseases. My one daughter does things to make herself different and is a protector of kids that are bullied. Some of these girls were scarred for life by quiet abuses inflicted by their peers as early as elementary school and as late as college. In her forties, she has just been diagnosed after a lifetime of feeling 'different. James gives a really fresh and unique perspective into adult women recently diagnosed with Autism. It was just not for me. I think if it talked more about teenagers I would have found the piece a little more intriguing, because at times I was confused why Simmons seemed to remain so affected by tormentors from her youth, when she herself explains how it happens to everyone and does not have to affect your whole life. It’s not that she’s been a failure- she was highly successful, with four children and a career as a journalist. Why did this set you off? Thanks! She is a mum of four children and lives in North Norfolk, UK. There is some great information for parents and also educators on how to deal with girls' aggression (which the author refers to it as because she dislikes the term bullying, as it implies more physicality), good conversation starters and other approaches to dealing with your daughter as the aggressor and as the target.

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